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MnemophobiaSitting on my bed,
With the same four walls staring back at me,
I lie back and think;
What does this life hold for me?
With goals set out to be archived,
Spoken words to be kept,
Things to been seen,
And promises to prove,
I live a life of memories,
Haunted with the past,
Hurt by the present,
Scared of the future,
I'm Surrounded by reminders,
Oh, why won't they just leave?
Does life have to be a painful road?
Can't my mind be let free?
I'm trapped in this memory box,
I wait to the day that it will be unlocked,
I'm suffocating in my own air,
Drowning in the sins of others,
I'm living a nightmare
Somebody please wake me up,
I cannot see another reminder,
This pain is suffocating,
My head in spinning out of control,
I'm slowly losing myself,
Each and every day,
Sleepless nights, another reminder,
I look deeper and deeper,
Inside of me..
"Everything happens for a reason"
Is that so?
I think back..
If those memories weren't the same,
Would I be the woman I am today?
In truth, yes I would,
Past RepeatsEmotionless facial expression,
The windows to the soul says all,
A course of obsession,
Broken, now stands an iron wall.
Past repeats again,
With a new face in view,
Begins an emotional drain,
A waiting to be broke through.
Kind words open a hole,
A wanting that needs to be filled,
Memories scarred the Soul,
And the moment is killed.
Action speaks louder than words,
Brings pain or joy, you make the choice,
Won't be the first, or the third,
Could be the end or start, it only takes a voice.
Reasons for fear,
Ruins or may tell the truth,
No happy memories of Youth.
Doubt fulfills truth, or leads to pain,
Reasons of which cannot be deleted,
Replayed over and over the human brain,
Again, the past is repeated.
Two words told to all, (Don't leave)
Two word told by all, (I won't)
A promise is made, and then falls.
Trust is given, and then fails.
Past repeats again and again.
What if...?What if I wanted to stop fighting for my life?
Give it up and never look back,
What if I wanted to break and shout it all out?
Would you still be here?
What if I screamed and shouted,
No more smiles, no more laughter,
Showed how I really felt,
Would you still see me as the same?
This is killing me, this is killing me.
What if I stopped and stared at you,
Didn't speak a word,
Would you ignore, or hug me?
What if I wanted to run away?
Run away from my mistakes,
Never look back.
Would you come find me?
This is who I really am,
This is who I really am.
This is who I really, really, am.
Would you still want me?
What if I told you, my deepest and darkest secrets?
Would you hold them and keep them locked up?
What if I broke and fell?
Would you put everything back?
What if I couldn't take this anymore?
What if this I became weak,
What if, what if, answer me,
Would you tell me the truth?
What if I told you something?
You, or them, won't understand.
All I want is you,
Would you take me and hold
a dangerous hallucinationThe light coming through the window was bright,
much too bright.
Even though my eyes were closed
I could see it-
The skin of my arms prickled,
sweat dripped from my brow.
It was two in the afternoon but…
the sun was setting
through the window facing east.
I should have seen the hutch,
shelves lined with bone china
decorated with delicate leaves and vines.
I was so thirsty
and reaching for cups that should have been there.
Instead I found a billboard of butterflies,
the colors raging
more than any rainbow
I'd ever seen.
Their wings fluttered and flashed
yet somehow they moved in slow motion.
I wanted to stand,
wanted to reach out and touch them but…
I couldn't move,
and yet I laughed
ignoring my dry mouth
and the tingling in my feet.
There was a tempest
on the rise
and in my blood.
A sugar rush disguised
as a riot of butterflies
and they were swarming me.
There was a small vial
of insulin in my pocket
that I nev
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More